What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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