He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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