Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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