Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
