she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
