the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
