So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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