you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
