Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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