You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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