I feel like abortions should bother me more
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
