I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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