he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
When did angry sex become our thing?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
