Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Im part way to drunk.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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