He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
