Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
