I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
