All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
