I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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