Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
