I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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