he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
