found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
