Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
