My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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