Screwed.edu
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
