Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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