never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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