is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
