hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize