You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
