You're completely useless in the revolution.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
