And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My breasts were aching with rage.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
