i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
