loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
