in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
