So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
