the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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