So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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