all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
