get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
