Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
