I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
