Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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