hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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