my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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