My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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