I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I just shit out all my problems.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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