I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize