I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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