Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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