Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
