Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize