You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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