yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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