can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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